Monthly Archives: March 2015

“I need the quarters for a condom.”

There are days when there’s just no way I can write about the people I meet.  And, likely this is one of them.  But, I’m going to write about this guy anyway.  I’m 110% sure he won’t read my blog.

Yesterday, I needed propane for our grill.  So, I took the container over to our local gas station.  Last time I did this (at the same gas station), I met a woman who was .25 cents short for a lottery ticket.  I gave it to her.  Hey, maybe she’d win and on TV she’d announce that she won because of the woman who gave her .25 cents!  The time before that, there was a fight at the pumps between two guys.  It required the police be called.  That wasn’t so interesting.

But this guy, he tops them all.  So, as I’m waiting in line, he asks if he can sneak in front of me, “I’m in a big hurry,” he says.  “Sure,” I say.  I think, what does it matter to me?  I’ve only got to run 4 more errands and pick up two boys, go to a meeting, cook and clean up dinner, take a call with a client and meet someone later for a drink.  Yea, I’ve got all the time in the world.

He gets in front of me and proceeds to ask for a few cigars.  He’s also got one of those massive drinks with more liquid than one could pee in a day.  After the clerk rings him up, he gives him the change – a dollar bill.  The customer (a tall guy – about 250), looks at the cashier (a big guy with tattoos up and down both arms and his ear lobes) and says, “Can I get this dollar in quarters?”  The cashier says, “Buddy, if it’s for the air machine outside, it’s free now.”   In a hurried voice the customer says, “I need the quarters for a condom.”

Frankly, I’m not sure what to do at this point.  Should I give him as many quarters as I have so he can buy extras?  Should I say, “Hey man, at least someone’s getting action!”  I say nothing.  I watch as the cashier gives him the quarters and the guy runs to the bathroom.

I say to the cashier, “I really can’t beat that.  I just want some chocolate and propane.”  The cashier shakes his head and says,” Sister, you have no idea the s*** I hear every day.”  By this point the guy’s sprinting out of the bathroom, out the door and into his car – where I can see a woman sitting in the front seat.

What’s the message here?  I’m really not sure. Is it that we should keep a lot of quarters in our cars, just in case?  Or, that warm weather brings new activities?  Or, maybe that we should be thankful people are using condoms!  🙂

Regardless, I hope you have a fun Monday!!!

A heck-of-a-week and today’s her birthday.

I’ve had a serious seven-day period.  Some of my experiences felt like being hit by a Mack truck.  Others felt like the universe totally opening up to me.  Today would have been my mom’s 75th birthday and the moon was an absolutely beautiful expression of the “wow” she brought to my life.

In keeping with my week and her birthday, I want to give you my lay-persons list (well, at least the things I’m focusing on) of 10 things I think we should eliminate to live a more centered, passionate and authentic life:

1. Give up your need for control.
In the last five months, my life has made a complete change.  I’m not sure why but I can tell you one thing for sure – I’ve made an enormous effort to give up control of almost everything – situations, events, people, etc.  I’ve just allowed things to happen … and I must tell you it turns out pretty well!

2. Give up your need to be right.
I’ve become a student of others’ opinions.  I listen and try to understand. Would I rather be right or would I rather be kind? Wayne Dyer

3. Give up blame and negativity.
And the point of keeping these going is …?

4. Give up complaining.
Feel bad about something?  Complaining won’t help.  In fact, it’ll just keep it in the fore of your mind.  Stop the complaining and you’ll realize that problems can be blessings in disguise.

5. Give up trying to impress others.
Just be yourself.  It feels happier (and more authentic) that way. And, when you love the real (and flawed you), you’ll find that others will be drawn to you.

6. Stop fighting change.
I’ve had more change in the last five months, in all areas of my life, than in the last 10 years.  Embracing change has helped me move from A to B and now to C. It just feels better!

7. Give up your fears.
My new mantra: Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s your tape. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

8. Give up excuses.
We’ve all got them.  Send them out with the garbage person.  Our excuses get us stuck and are just mind chatter – they’re not real.

9. Give up the past.
This one’s difficult.  Especially when the past looks better than the present and the future is scary.  When you long for the past you miss the present and ignore the excitement of the future.

10. Give up attachment.
I’m new at this one so bear with me.  Let’s try to detach from others and from things. I don’t mean giving up on the ones we love – but rather realizing that “attachment” is fear-based and love is not.  They can’t coexist.  Give up needing something or someone and you’ll experience that absolutely pure and selfless love you’re looking for.

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.  Joseph Campbell

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

One of our (my) greatest challenges.

I called a friend the other night to talk about forgiveness. I want to forgive someone.  But, as we all know, it’s not easy.  I told my friend that it’s not about the other person – it’s about my carrying around negative energy.  I can feel it inside of me and I want to let it go.   We agreed to think about how to go about forgiving when you still feel anger.

After we got off the phone, it came to me that genuine forgiveness goes deeper than the pain in your mind. It’s a matter of the heart.  And, it’s not about the other person. It’s about our own relationship to the past.

Sometimes it is too early to forgive because you have to go through the feelings to get to the forgiveness part. And sometimes (unfortunately) that takes longer than you think.

One of my favorite writers, Caroline Myss, refers to the inability to forgive (ourselves or others), as the strongest poison to the human spirit.  She’s right.  The lack of forgiveness cuts right to the core of our ability to enjoy life, because as long as we’re tightly holding on to some injustice, we are investing emotional energy into keeping those feelings alive.  We remain the victim.  And, these ties to our past – to the negative events in our lives – binds us like the burlap we put on our trees in the winter — it’s protection for a little while, but if it remains on too long – it will eventually kill the tree.  In other words, we are the ones who suffer the most.

I’m not saying that you should forget what has precipitated those feelings – you need that memory to avoid similar experiences. That was a lesson from the universe in that situation.  Guru Singh once discussed this topic and reminded us that we’re not supposed to say, “what you did is okay.”   What we’re supposed to say is “what you did is what you did.”  It’s about letting go of any responsibility for someone else’s actions toward you.

One thing I know for sure (and I know very little!), true forgiveness is true healing.  Not for the other person.  That’s not our job.   Letting go and forgiving – will bring healing to us.  At that’s the lesson of life.

To forgive means to go forward from a memory into the present moment. ~Guru Singh

Have an amazing start to your week!!