Monthly Archives: May 2016

And that’s a wrap.

When you learn how to control your mind, you open a door to the vastness of creativity, inspiration, and brilliance that is just behind the clutter of your thoughts. Unknown

Two years ago I was a person filled with more than my fair share of fear:  How was I going to start the firm I was looking for?  How was I going to move the negative out and fill it with positive? Was I enjoying life? I wanted to jump, to change — but I was stuck. Scared. I let my thoughts control me.

One thing I know for sure: Our beautiful minds can be our worst enemy.

This week I met someone with schizophrenia. She hears voices and is constantly distracted by them. Her mother says that she’s trapped in her mind – like being in a cult. Heartbreaking.

We all get trapped in our minds. It’s not always negative but sometimes it’s incredibly limiting. There are the constant interruptions when we’re working on a problem. The worries. I (am I the only one?) replay conversations and interactions. We think about the past and worry about the future. Simply put, our mind games are destructive and impact our results and our success.

To some extent we’re addicted to our negative thoughts and we obsess about s*** we can’t control. Yet, there’s control in what we know – even if it’s negative.  Thus, we stick with it.

Today was my official last day of “help” and here’s what I learned:

  1. Interrupt your thoughts. Once we believe that we can interrupt any of our thoughts or behaviors then our mind can become our best asset.
  2. Identify the thinking. Circular thinking traps us on a treadmill, draining our energy and happiness. The longer you’re on the treadmill, the more ingrained that pattern becomes. Identify the thought and gently say “stop.”  My words were, “I’m ok.”
  3. Learn new thoughts. Our minds abhor a vacuum, so you can’t rid yourself of negative thinking without filling the void. Otherwise, the same negative thinking will creep back in. There are two ways to fill the void: (a) put a positive in instead of the negative; and (b) believe the positive.
  4. You are your thoughts. The only truth to our thoughts are the truths we give our thoughts.
  5. There are no shortcuts. There’s no other way to move on other than to let go and move on.  It’s painful. It’s scary. Sometimes we need help. But remember: there are no wrong decisions, only decisions that take us to our next place.

So, on this one I’m calling it a wrap.  It’s one in the win column for me and my mind. We’re (mostly) working together now.

Look, we’re all going to over think, over analyze and waste a lot of time inside our brain. The trick is to minimize those limiting thoughts and change them so they help, not hinder you.

Because those thoughts that are holding you back … well, they really are created by you. 🙂

XOXO

 

 

 

 

Today’s the day – “Mother’s Day”

I don’t have much time because I’m up before my crew and getting ready to make homemade french toast, thick cut bacon (them not me) and blueberry muffins – also homemade.  Plus, I need to clean up the kitchen and start the laundry.  🙂

But before I do all that, I want to write a letter to my children:

Dear Kids:

Mother’s Day is great.  I totally appreciate the effort.  But let me tell you about being a mom.  We’d do it all anyway even if we didn’t have a day.  We might bitch about the s*** you’ve left on the floor for the millionth time or the failure to put the toilet seat down (ok, I really do hate that one), or not responding to our text messages for more than a day, but we love every minute of it.  We really do.  And while we think it’s nice to get a “day,”  we don’t need it.  And here’s why: because even on our “day” we’re still doing our mom-thing: picking up, cooking, laughing with you, etc.  It’s just another day, but with added pressure for it to be “perfect.”

All we really need (and I’m serious here), is some love once in a while and the sense that you appreciate us. That special hug I got yesterday from one of my guys who said, “this is just because.”  Or the kiss blown to me by the other as I was taking my dad for coffee, saying – “I love you momma.”  And, before I could really even open my eyes this morning a message from my daughter.  That’s what we live for.

So, to all those kids out there trying to figure out how to make the day special, here’s the answer:  This mom-love is so powerful that you can make any moment special.  I promise that if you just call her with joy in your voice, or walk over to her, smile and hug her and say “I love you” – it will be enough.  It’s really that simple.  We don’t need stuff.  We just want to know that you’re happy, healthy, and love us (once in awhile!).

To all my mom friends out there: I know how much work it is, how special it is, how exhausted you are and how grateful you are to have the experience.  I hope you all get some love today, tomorrow and the next.  And if not, I’m sure they’ll remember next month!  🙂

Have a wonderful day everyone!

XOXO