Monthly Archives: June 2016

“You’re the only mom who …”

I’m really excited to be such an enigma as a mom.  I thought we were all alike but seems as if my kids have decided that I’m a lone wolf.  The only mom who has certain rules and requirements at home.  Let me enumerate the differences between me and (apparently) all other moms:

  1. “You’re the only mom who cares what time their kids go to sleep.  Other moms let their kids decide.”  I had no idea my friends were letting their kids stay up until the 22nd rerun of Sponge Bob came on at 5 am.  No wonder my kids are so uneducated – they’re not getting the full raising of the intellectual consciousness of this country by the “discussions” between Sponge Bob and Patrick.  I wonder if any of our presidential candidates could raise their level of consciousness by staying up and watching Sponge Bob?
  2. “Other moms close their kid’s door when their room is messy and don’t make them pick it up.” Ohhhh.  That’s what I’m missing.  The old close-the-door trick.  I was thinking of the old take-the-door-off-the-hinge trick.  You moms are so enlightened to not ask for the room to be picked up!
  3. [In the same vein] “You’re the only mom who wants wet towels off the floor of their kids’ room.”  I’m going to start running around the house naked yelling, “There are no towels around here!”  I’m thinking if my kids have to see that, they’ll quickly pick up the towels, do the laundry and maybe even fold.
  4. “Other moms let their kids go to parties and don’t need to call the parents of the place they’re going.”  So, I just need to trust my kids and the 62 other kids who will be attending this “hanging-out thing.”  Because there’s no question that I never had parties when my parents were gone.  And there’s no way that s*** happens at these parties that could get them in trouble.  Yes, that’s a good point – learn to trust all the kids I don’t know and even the ones I do and not keep track of what’s happening. (Hear that throwing up sound? That’s me.)
  5. “Just because my music is so loud that you can hear me coming down the street before you can see my car, doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention.” No response other than, “Give me the F***ing car keys until the various factions on this issue agree to vote for my referendum of careful and respectful driving.” I win.
  6. “Why do you need to tell me to do my homework. I know I have homework.” I know you know. But I know that you are caught up in the internet, the phone and Snap Chat.  Maybe other moms don’t know about social media. G-d knows we don’t freaking talk enough about it as parents.

I guess there are a lot of really lucky children with moms who are way nicer than me.  Sorry, kids.  You drew the short straw in this lifetime.  🙂

Love ya!  Mom

 

They were learning to be blind.

Yesterday I went to get my glasses fixed and just outside, on the sidewalk, were four people.  Two with dark glasses on and two with eye patches.  The looked stuck and I probably shouldn’t have but I went over to see if they needed help.  They thanked me profusely (one explaining to the two with patches that they will get help from people all the time and to try to be gentle with the “helpers” even if they don’t need help).  Then, they explained their situation:

The two with eye patches were learning to be blind … because – as sad as this sounds – they were going blind.  They were learning what their new life would be like. How to walk down the street.  How to find a door.  How to know when the cars were crossing and they shouldn’t.  I cry just typing this and I cried when I got into my car.  How I so take for granted seeing the smirk on a kids face when I make a suggestion or the eye rolling when I ask about the wet towel (yes they are still there) on their floor.  I take for granted the leaves moving in the wind.  The beauty of the world whizzing by me.  How tragic.  How heartbreaking.

But life is about adjustments.  The new normal in life, right?  Sometimes we leave a bad job or bad relationship and we get to a new normal.  Maybe there is a lot of pain for a while, but we adjust.

My aunt is dying (my mother’s only remaining sibling) and I went to see her recently.  I was fine until I left to go to the airport and I just sobbed at the realization that it could be the last time I see her or she recognizes me.  Life’s adjustments are required but they still really hurt.

But these changes bring new beauty.  These amazing people on the street told me that as their sight was leaving they were developing new senses.  They were experiencing a new part of life.  They told me that they really were ok as I was obviously feeling upset about it all.  How interesting that they were reassuring me.

So, in my oh so awkward way I just want to remind you (and me) that the “life adjustments” we’ll experience today, tomorrow or the next can (and likely will) bring some pain, but with it also comes some beauty.  People come into our lives and they go.  And that’s sad.  Our health changes.  And that’s sad too.  But we are still so lucky to be here for whatever moments we are granted, regardless of whether we experience them with sight or not.

Have an amazing day.  XOXO

Two guys holding hands and crying.

I’ve not written in a while.  Just enjoying having everyone home, working, playing with friends – you know the drill.  And in this long hiatus, I’ve had some cool experiences but one happened yesterday and I felt like I wanted to share it.

As you know, I avoid political or religious discourse here and I don’t name names, pass judgment (other than on myself), etc. But love is love (regardless of sex, gender, type of relationship, etc.) and yesterday, I got a reminder of just how beautiful it can be.

I was ending my day at the grocery store and as I walked out – I saw two guys holding hands in front of me.  They stopped for a second and started hugging.  I could see they were crying. As I walked by I asked if they were ok or if they needed anything.  I said that I usually am crying in grocery stores (it’s where I find I miss my daughter the most!) and that it was nice to see I’m not the only grocery store crier.

They shared with me that they had known each other in college, but life took them away from one another.  By a quirk of fate and a death, they came back together last year.  They’ve been inseparable ever since. Last week, one was diagnosed with cancer.  Likely a rough road and low survival rate.  At the moment I saw them crying, one had said to the other “No matter what happens, my soul will be with your soul forever.”  Hearing that made me cry too.

We chatted awhile and then I left. As I drove home I realized that there are no walls when there’s love.  There’s no right or wrong.  There’s nothing one can’t do, when they have love. There’s power and joy and peace when there’s love.  And when you lose the person you love, the love still stays with you.

Let’s agree that this world would be a better place if we put love in front of fear and greed and power.  I have never had more powerful feelings than when I’ve been in love or felt love.  Yesterday my son said to my daughter, “I wish you would come back again for another summer because I love having you home.”  Her response, “I love you too.” Powerful.

So, what’s the message here?  For me it was that when the time is right, certain things will happen to you. You’ll meet the right person, you’ll find the right job, or you’ll have a moment where time stops for a second and you’ll know that is reaching the pinnacle of love.  And even if the person is taken from  you – the love never leaves your soul.

I realized that love is so powerful, that even a brief minute watching it in a grocery store parking lot, can stay with you a lifetime.

Enjoy the love all around you this beautiful weekend.

XO