She told me how proud and excited she was for me. Her life has not been as she had “planned.” She wished she had left her husband years ago. She tried but he convinced her to come back. She’s never been entirely happy. Now he’s quickly declining with Alzheimer’s. She feels trapped. She can’t leave now. I suppose he feels trapped, but in a different and very sad way. But I’m doing what she has wanted to do for many years. I don’t detect any jealousy. We all choose our path. I felt real happiness from her to me. It made me cry and we hugged as we said good-bye.

Her excitement for me is my move. A move that will occur in four hours, when the dawn comes and the moving trucks arrive. I’ve been here 24 years. A million memories. A million lifetimes, but yet, one lifetime ending and another one beginning.

Rather than my normal meditation today, I just sat in the meditation chair from my sons. With my eyes open. Looking out in the backyard. Listening to the birds one last time. Remembering all the memories. Kids running around. Kids fighting. Kids laughing. Parties. Rain. Snow. Hail. Homework and more homework. Twenty-four years.

I have million thoughts. I have so much to write. And I will. But, for now, I really need a cup of coffee before these movers arrive. It will be a day, for sure.

More to come.

Love you all.

Jessica