I’ve been having the most interesting conversations with women who have grown kids. Everyone has something a little different to say about their experiences. Like, “I’m not sure who I am,” or “I’m trying to figure out what I like now because all I did was things for my kids.” Recently I heard, “I find myself only as happy as my most unhappy child” … (serious, but sometimes true, statement).

So, what is this all about? What are we supposed to be thinking or feeling? Is there a supposed to be thinking?

As a mama of grown kids, it’s hard to admit that we have forgotten a little (read/a lot!) about who we are. We start to think about the next chapter, while at the same time feeling shocked that the last chapter is over. What do we want in our lives? Who are we? What will our relationships be with our grown kids? What will our relationship be with ourselves?

The answer(s)?

I haven’t a f***ing clue!

Here’s what I do know:

  1. It is ok to feel lost. It makes sense. Be ok with that. Tell your friends you feel lost sometimes. We love you and support whatever you’re feeling.
  2. Be ok in the white space. That space where you have nothing planned. Take that moment to think about your parents. Thank them (if only in your mind) for loving you even when you didn’t call very often.
  3. Be ok with the job you did. As a parent, I sucked sometimes and I was great sometimes. But in the end, I did the best I could! (so cliché, but true).
  4. Know that the longest part of your relationship with your kids is just now starting. What do you want it to look like? I find myself playing the intermittent life coach. I’m loving this role. I liken this to being on the emergency crew for a Formula One race car—immediate need and then they speed away!
  5. Be the adorer. For you. I’m really not sure what this means but I hear this a lot … “Jessica, do something nice for you.” I’m exploring this right now (stay tuned). Currently, I’m hoping that watching Golden Girls counts as doing something for me!

I don’t have any answers today. But for me, being a mama has changed in the amount of time (and energy) (which sometimes is super cool!) But being a mama has not changed in the amount of heart.

Text them that you love them, feel thankful that you have a nice long relationship ahead of you, and then enjoy the beautiful sunrise … for you!

XOXO