Some of you know that I have a dog who has been pretty sick lately. This landed us in the emergency vet hospital at 4 am on Sunday morning. Dehydrated and really not feeling well, this 55 pound dog laid in my arms for the hours we waited for the doctor.

About an hour after we walked in a woman came in (maybe in her 70’s? I’m a terrible judge of age as I get older!). She had a black lab who was having a lot of trouble walking and she had a gentle leader on him.

I couldn’t help but listen to her talk with the receptionist. He had dementia, more than 10 years old, and had been throwing up for the last few days. She had no idea what was going on or what to do. The receptionist was so loving. Once the woman got checked in and sat down, we chatted a bit and then she moved to a different part of the clinic so as not to bother Lily, who was sleeping in my arms.

I heard her phone ring at some point and she started telling the person that she was at the emergency vet. Then I heard her voice crack and say, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. He’s all I have.”

F***. Oh man.

Here I was, sitting with our own puppy who has been sick for a year+ and I’m listening to something even more heartbreaking! She sat quietly listening to the person on the phone, I could hear this woman crying, and then she got off the phone as her dog wanted to move around.

I wondered what the person on the line said to this woman. I wondered what she would do when her dog was gone. I wondered about how I would deal with that situation. I also wondered if I have been loving and understanding enough when this has happened to my friends.

I started to run through in my mind things to say: “I’m sorry for your loss.” “You loved him for his whole life.” “He loved being with you.” Then I realized that what I’ve missed is that when we lose a pet, just like losing a human, firsts are the worst. So, maybe something like, “It may be hard the first time you go to the park or for a walk and I’d love to join you to do that whenever you’re ready.”

I don’t know. I am so not prepared for this moment. Really not. I don’t think we ever are.

All I know is that on that morning, I was reminded that we just don’t know how people feel or what they are going through in any given moment and the grace we give is really the most important gift we can give each other.

XOXO

Jessica