A story of very quiet love.

Love’s been in the air at my house and it’s caused me to wonder, how is it that the most beautiful and most painful feeling is the hardest to describe?  And how is it that people fall out of love and are able to survive and fall in love with someone else? Oh, and why is my love for my children so deep, yet so indescribable? Always questions and only a few answers!

I know a few things about love:

1. No matter who you’re in love with (kids, partner, friends), love makes colors brighter and boring things less boring.  We feel happier when we have love in our lives.

2. The strength and depth of love is determined by two conditions: (1) having a level of self-acceptance and love for ourselves; and (2) being open, honest and self-exposed.  So, I guess love starts with “me” and moves to “us.”

3. Love is also uncertain. One day you’re over the moon and the next day not.  And, we fall out of love (I’m not sure how because I thought love was forever –yes, I wear rose-colored glasses!). But when love crumbles, we shouldn’t grind it to dust. We shouldn’t add to life’s burden by hurting others – especially those we’ve loved. Trust me, it doesn’t make life better.

I’ve got my own little list about Love:

  • Love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them.
  • Love is trusting someone enough to tell them everything about you, including the things you might be ashamed of.
  • Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting. weak knees when they walk into a room and look at you.
  • Love is someone kissing you even when you’re sick.
  • Love is listening and not judging.
  • Love is elastic. It stretches, retracts and changes shape constantly.

When I told a friend yesterday about my struggle with the definition of love, she told me this story:

Her parents were married for 60 years. Her father was not always nice to her mother (possibly an understatement).  But in his own way, he loved her.  Later in life, her mom got dementia and no longer knew her husband or anyone else for that matter. Yet, despite not knowing him, he would still go to see her every day and hold her hand. Even though she didn’t know who was holding her hand, she still was being loved and he was giving love. Beautiful and heartbreaking.

Love is being there for someone even when they don’t know it. Love is like mismatched gloves that go hand in hand yet not perfectly matched.

So, even though love feels different sometimes, it’s really all the same.  It’s beautiful, painful, ever-changing and quiet. It’s loving our children, our partners and our friends even when they don’t know it.  And, it’s being loved in the same way.

I’m totally in love with love!

Have a great weekend!

XOXO

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