Yesterday I ran a 10 mile race. I had to chase my friends the entire way. During most of it I was asking myself, “why the hell am I doing this?”
My mind’s got a lot of power with me. And, if I don’t control the chatter while I’m running, I will eventually stop. My mind often tells me it’s dying, that I can’t go one more step, that I need to walk up that next hill, that I’ve got to take 10 bathroom stops. And, I usually listen. It really is a mind game for me and as I’m getting older, my mind and body are not always happy with my life choices!
Running’s changed. It’s not the strap-on-your-shoes thing it used to be.
I still run in clothes I bought 20 years ago. That’s what we did in the olden days. Now, I also run in my kids old clothes. But have you seen the cute new skirts, tops, shoes that people run in? Seriously, better than what I wear to work! I’m just not sure about spending $150 on an outfit that I am going to sweat all over.
Also, there are all these new powders, gels, drinks that people take. I bring a pack of Barbie gummy fruits. When I started running that’s what my kids had and that was what I took as I ran screaming from the house, to get out for a “save-my-mind” run. I’m having a hard time giving this up for the fancy stuff.
There are training watches, heart monitors and a million other gadgets. There are fanny packs, back packs with water straws … what the heck? I put my keys, phone and a few bucks in a baggie. Done.
Some people do this running/training thing and it looks so easy (I know it’s not). But, they’re able to build beautiful muscles, they can run, bike, swim and still feel good the next day. They do it for the love of it.
Why do I do it? It’s the only way I remain sane. I am certain I’d be in prison by now if I didn’t run. But, I’m not like my cool training buddies. I can’t build any muscles. I lift and lift but my arms are still like sticks with flab on the back-end. Moreover, there’s no way that the skin stretched from pregnancy with those kids (really those two boys) will ever go back from whence it came.
Yet, I’m ok with my aging mind and body. The changes are inevitable and I have little say in the process anyway. The mind chatter? Well, at least someone’s talking to me!
Have a great start to your week!