“I don’t care about your feelings.”

This one blew me away.  No one has ever said that this to me before.   How could someone not care about my feelings?   Even if you’re mad at someone, don’t you still care about their feelings?  At first I felt bad, really bad.  And, I wasn’t sure what to do with that statement.

So, after the kids went to sleep, I got out my yoga mat.  I asked for guidance on how to take this statement and do some thing positive with it.  Nothing came to me  Then, I asked again.  Still nothing.  Eventually, I got hungry (big surprise) and got off my mat.  As I was making myself some toast, it hit me:  My feelings are 100% about me.  No one creates them, but me.  No one should influence them, but me.  I am in control of my feelings and if you care about my feelings, great!  If you don’t, that’s your deal (although I am unlikely to spend much time with you).

Feelings are a funny thing. When we allow other factors to determine how we feel, we find that we feel upset because of what someone said or did. We find that we feel sad because of how someone looked at us.  We feel happy when someone recognizes us.

Yet, we can’t base our life on the words and actions of others.  Think how easy it is to feel good or bad based on someone else’s actions.   If you really think about it, it doesn’t make sense.  We must base our feelings according to what we believe, what we think … what we value.  We only have control over us and no one else.

So, I can let that comment make me feel bad OR I can say that it’s their loss for not caring about my feelings.  It’s how I feel about my feelings that matter.  I’m in charge of my feelings and I’m in charge of my reactions (and my feet can do the rest of the talking!).

Whew, new stuff even at the ripe old(er) age of 51!

Have a great weekend everyone!  X0

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