There’s little debate that marriage (or a committed partnership) is not easy. To say marriage isn’t hard would be like saying eating a cow’s tongue isn’t disgusting. Of course it is.
You may be wondering why a single mom is writing about marriage (No Dad, I’m not getting married yet!). Well, I certainly can testify to the fact that my marriage (and divorce) were difficult, although I won’t go in the why’s of either one. But, now I’m at the age where “things” happen in relationships. Marriages end. Problems arise. I’m seeing it more and more.
Recently, my daughter and I were watching, “This is 40,” when I found my mouth opening and out came … “Marriage is hard work.” My daughter turned to me and asked, “Why?” This was a good and obvious question.
This led me to thinking, maybe it’s not marriage that is such hard work but actually living with someone, that is so challenging. Could that be right? We humans are naturally a bit insecure, competitive, opinionated and even cranky. So, how easy can it be to live with us? Share resources with us? Plus, living with someone requires compromise, keeping your mouth shut and acceptance. Of course, love fits in there too!
I personally am amazed (and proud) of the many couples I know that actually live together, year after year after year — and still enjoy one another. Sure, it’s never perfect. But if you focus on making the good, better and letting go of the not-so-good, then life must seem that much easier with a partner you can rely/depend on.
We likely can agree on this: relationships of any kind give life meaning, which is why we try them regardless of their difficulty. What better way to learn about acceptance, respect and trust, than from a relationship where someone loves you unconditionally and doesn’t leave when you make a mistake or do something stupid (which I am often likely to do!).
So, look at those who love you and thank them for giving you the opportunity to be a better person through the hard work of your relationship. And, if you live with them give them an even bigger thanks … they deserve it!
Have a wonderful start to your week!