Day 1: No Sugar. Or, in the alternative, Day 1: Serious B****!

A number of years ago I had a gall bladder attack.  No one believed me at first. “You don’t look like a gall bladder attack candidate,”  I kept hearing.  Yet, I had to change my diet and I eventually needed surgery.  One less organ never killed anyone.

I got back to normal but somewhere along the way (actually at a restaurant when the bread basket was handed to me), I learned that gluten was causing some problems for me.  When I went off, to see if I was right (Sadly, I was), I was hungry for weeks until I figured out what to eat (I’m still missing my bread).

Recently, some friends said they were going on a cleanse.  “A what?”  I asked.  Apparently this cleanse cleans out the “toxins” and helps you start “fresh.”   Sounds interesting, since I am definitely full of toxins (and other unmentionables) and could use a fresh start.  Plus, I’ve not been feeling fantastic as it relates to food and I’m not sure what’s causing the problem.

So, I do what any bright woman would do … I searched the internet to self-diagnose.  After reading about all these food ailments, I came across one that fit my symptoms.  I could feel the depression setting in as I realized that I might have to cut out this “food” item out for a while.

Hello, my name is Jessica and I am addicted to sugar.

I never considered myself an addict but here were my symptoms:

1. Raisins or sugar in my oatmeal in the morning and a glass of chocolate mile.

2. Toast (gluten-free) required honey or jelly, with milk, chocolate, if possible..

3. Chocolate after every meal.

4. Ice cream cravings every evening (Chocolate Moose Tracks).

5. And, recently I started sprinkling chocolate powder in my black coffee.

I’m an addict.

Yesterday was Day One – no sugar – and I felt like S***.  I wonder if that should tell me something.  I was kind of edgy, not my usual pleasant person at the check-out at Target, got frustrated with the man at the gas station who was talking on the phone even after his pump had finished (and I needed it!) and just generally tired.  I went so far as to walk by the chocolate aisle at Target just to be sure I didn’t want to buy ANYTHING.

But avoiding processed sugar means eliminating all my favorite foods, ketchup, mayo and even my sugar filled yogurt!  I’m even supposed to eliminate all fruits, but there’s no way I’m skipping my daily banana!

Please, just shoot me now and put me out of my misery.

My goal is a week.  I’m not sure I’ll make it without serious withdrawal symptoms.  Kids, you might want to go stay with Dad for the week.

Have a great day (and eat some chocolate for me).

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