I went back to yoga last night. I took the summer off from going to class. And, why not? Summer is a beautiful time of the year and training allows me to be outside. But, now it’s getting colder (although I did get a balmy and beautiful 6 mile run in this morning) and it’s time to head back inside.
As you know, I don’t often take quiet time for myself. Things are moving pretty fast for me, not only in my professional life, but in my personal life as well. Moreover, I am watching the absolutely screaming speed at which my kids are growing up. My daughter is now communicating with rowing coaches from D1 schools and I can see the writing on the wall. My boys are really young men … those are the things that caused me to lose it last night.
In those final moments of yoga class, when you are supposed to release everything in your body, I began to think about change. Is it possible I won’t be single forever? What’s it going to be like when my kids go off to college. Will everyone in my life be there in five years? I started to cry.
Why can’t things just stay the same? The people in my life, my kids being here? Do I have to keep getting older? 🙂
I get the whole change thing. And, I get that I will love the next phase. But, can’t I just keep it still for a bit? Don’t you ever wonder about that?
Maybe this is coming up because I can see big changes on the horizon. Maybe because at that moment I wasn’t moving 1,000 miles per hour. Or maybe, I got scared because I just love this moment. The one right now. I like the way it is. Maybe I was that way last year too. Maybe I loved that moment as well.
What ever the reason, life’s already changed from last night to today. So, I didn’t get my wish. But, I did get to read this to my son this morning who said, “It’s good but it’s sad, how fast life goes. I guess we gotta enjoy it.” He’s so right.
Have a wonderful day.