I remember the days when “why?” was so cute.  It would come from kids every time a life mystery arose.  And, I could explain the “why” away seeming so smart to them.   And, once they got the “answer” it was done.  That is totally not the deal now.  Now, their “whys” are driving me crazy.

Here’s just the last two times:

Me:  It’s 9:30 p.m. Can you wrap it up, pack up your back pack and get your teeth brushed?

Him:  Why?

Me: Why what?  What part of that don’t you understand?

Him:  Why do I have to brush my teeth now.  I want to eat more popcorn.

Me: Because I want to close the kitchen down – you’ve been eating for an hour now. I want to get ready for bed and frankly, if you want to stay up, go downstairs where I can’t hear the TV.

Him:  Why?

Me: WTF??!!!  Seriously, get the heck out of here now and go get your stuff together for tomorrow.

Him:  Geeze, why can’t you just explain to me what you want me to do.

Me: Are you kidding me?  I have to explain about brushing teeth, getting ready for tomorrow and finishing eating?

Him: Yea.  Plus, I just don’t understand why you are getting so upset.

Me: (wtfwtfwtfwtf!!!)


Me: Hey, let’s all go see a movie.

Him: Why?

Me: Because I want to see a movie and there are a ton out there that you all want to see.

Him: Why do we have to go to a movie?

Me: Let me get this straight.  I’m offering to pay for a movie and popcorn…a movie of your choice, and you want to know why?

Him: Yea.

Me: Let me give you a couple of reasons: (1) family time; (2) you’ve been inside all day and it’s good to at least walk out the door; (3) these are movies you’ve been saying you want to see; and (4) I said “popcorn!”

Him: Well, why do we need family time?  We had lunch together (I freaking made lunch while they ate!).  I also don’t know why I need to go outside.  These movies will eventually be on Netflix and we know you can make popcorn here.

Me: ….. (Honestly, there is absolutely nothing to say after this one…)

I think I’m going to start demanding rather than asking.  Wait, these are teenagers.  I think I’m just going to start every request with a “why.”

Why haven’t you brushed your teeth?

Why are there 30 pieces of laundry on your floor and two wet towels?

Why are you still eating at 10:00 pm when you started eating at 7?

Why can’t you put your books back in your backpack after you are done and they are spread out all over the floor and counters?

All great but likely ineffective.  Here’s one that will work:  Why don’t you all join me at JJ’s?  Sans kids. They’ve got popcorn!

Have a great day!!!