Here’s a true confession about me, I don’t always want to admit my shit. Seriously. In fact, I have to admit another truth about me, I’ve blamed my shit on others. Seriously.
While I don’t make a complete habit of this, I am (and rightly should) looking back on my last 10+ years and I can see that there were times where I found it easier to blame someone else, rather than to look internally. There’s one person during this time frame (he who shall remain unnamed) that did a really good job of screwing things up in a such a visual, that it was easy to point my finger at him (and more often than not, deservedly so!). But, I have to admit that each time I point my finger outward at someone, it prevents me from looking inward – which should really be the direction of my focus.
Look, we all try to pass the buck sometimes – to point the focus away from us. But, there comes a time when we have to stop blaming and look at how to deal with our own s***. Here are my top 5 ways to end the blame game:
1. Take responsibility
I won’t beat around the bush on this one. If we don’t take responsibility for our actions, we will never solve any of our life’s problems. It will just be a constant blame game. It’s that simple.
2. Learn to apologize
This is not easy for most of us. We all know people who never apologize unless a metaphorical gun is pointed at their head. Let’s not let that be us. Apologizing for mistakes is freeing. It’s honest. And it’s a relief to acknowledge that we are not perfect!
3. Admit that you’re not always right
No one is always right and no one is blameless. It’s hard to admit that we might be wrong. Please, I was wrong 10 times before noon yesterday! It’s a given. Admit it.
4. Solve the problem
If you’re pointing a finger, there’s a problem to be solved. It really doesn’t matter how you got to the problem. What matters is where you end up.
5. Be humble
Admit that you can’t do every thing and that you have shortcomings. Ask for help. When we’re humble, we’re not blaming and we’re happier.
Let’s be honest, while it’s nice to not be blamed for things, the truth is, we do make mistakes. Plus, looking at mistakes as positive, and a learning experience, will help drive our passion in a positive direction.
So to my unnamed friend (aren’t they all unnamed?) who I quite easily blamed for many years (and who still deserved some blame) – please know that I did my fair share of making mistakes and I’m sorry for not acknowledging that enough along the way.
I’m going to try to take responsibility for all my actions – no matter how big or small. Those who love me, deserve that.
Have a great weekend!