When I was a kid, I had one best friend (other than my dog!). That’s just how it worked. But, as we get old(er), life changes and different people at different times that fit that category.
Recently, I was with some cool friends and one of them talked about this notion of “best” friends. She reminded us that we’re all best friends to one another at any give point in time. It made me think — maybe a best friend is not a particular kind of relationship — But, actually the qualities in a person that make that relationship feel “best.”
I think of many of you as “best” friends because you have these qualities. Here’s my list:
1. Listening. This is obvious, but critical. I can tell when someone is listening to me or just waiting to speak. It’s in their body language. When someone needs my advice (or visa versa) there’s nothing better than feeling like the person really has listened, without an already formulated response. I hope you feel that I listen to you. I really am.
2. Sincere and honest. “We are all travellers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” – Robert Louis Stevenson Are we honest with each other? Can we call each other on our shit? I need that and I really want to do that for you (in a nice way, of course!)
3. Acceptance. “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to: letting a person be what he really is.” – Jim Morrison
Acceptance flaws and all. Enough said.
4. Dependable. It hurts when you go out of your way to take care of someone and then when you’re vulnerable and you need them, it’s inconvenient to reciprocate. When we can turn to someone in a time of crisis, even if we’ve not talked for months, and have them be there for you… it’s the perfect balance of giving and sharing. Love.
5. Being present. This is listening ++. It’s being emotionally available, with ears. It’s so great when this happens!
Thanks to all of you who’ve been there for me over the years. You enhance my life. You make me feel appreciated and lift my spirits. And, as we all know, life is too short to spend with those who are not worth of our time or friendship. I hope I do the same for you. You’re important to my existence.
Have a great Sunday!