I had the most amazing 24 hours with my new best friends this weekend. You know when you meet someone and your realize they are going to be important in your life? That’s this group of women. Our theme for this weekend was being vulnerable. Yet, the real word that kept coming up was – Enough.
Most of us are trying to earn our self-worth our entire life. We need to make more money, have a big house, get the best grades or we are always trying to lose that last 20 pounds. We assume that when we get to that point, we’ll realize we are good enough. But, we never get there. Why?
Because we don’t need to do anything at all. We are enough just as we are.
Look, it takes enormous courage to show up in this world and let people enter our cave (metaphorically!). And as my friend said this weekend – It is hard to be a person.
For many years, I’ve measured my “enough” in the wrong way (as I’ve said many times before – I’m clearly a work in progress!). Yet, we must learn to separate out our worth from our “performance.”
My worth is unchanging and is inherent because I was born. I exist. That’s enough. My performance, however, on any given day, in any area may be good, bad or somewhere in between. Yet, that doesn’t change my worth. Once we embrace this notion – that our self-worth is not tied to our performance, we can develop a more stable sense of self, feel freer to express our needs and are better able to accept criticism without feeling defensive.
Here’s what I figured out this weekend – “enough” is really simple – it’s just love.
Each moment that I love my children, I am enough. Every day that I wake up and do for my family and friends, I am enough. Even those days when I don’t feel very loving, I am enough. Nothing will ever change that truth.
Eckhart Tolle tells us in A New Earth, that we should let go of our external world and focus on how we really are inside. That we are already perfect, lovable and enough just the way we are.
So, let go of where you are and love yourself and the collective world around you. I know and love all of you and I’m here to tell you that you are enough. In fact, you are more than enough.
When you hug your children or text them today – tell them they are enough just as they are. Remind yourself too. And thank you to my friends for showing me this weekend that I am enough.
Have a wonderful start to your week!