My kids and I were listening to music last night as we cleaned the house and these lyrics caught my attention:

Even if it makes others uncomfortable
I wanna love who I am
Even if it makes others uncomfortable
I will love who I am

I’m in my 50’s now (eek!) and I feel so much more comfortable with myself – flaws and all, than when I was more “perfect” in my 20’s!  Why couldn’t I be this way when I was younger?  I had the same flaws (or negative tapes) back then: control issues, not happy with my hair, always wanted a different body, wished I was smart(er), taller, shorter, etc.  Yet, here I am, at my advancing age, finally understanding that I need to love who I am – imperfections and all!

I remember those days of wanting to be like all the other girls and I wasn’t.  Looking back I wish someone had told me that different is ok and that conformity is not for everyone. That it’s perfectly fine to explore what the heart wants and to tune out the rest of the world long enough to build a relationship with yourself – to know yourself.

Here’s why we don’t know it in our 20’s:  Knowing yourself is not a sprint.  As Oscar Wilde once said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” It takes years of face-to-face experiences with our self-doubts and flaws.  It means learning and respecting our life values, our beliefs, our personality, our priorities, our moods, our mistakes, our habits, our body and our relationships.

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier

What does self-love and acceptance look like?

Self-love is not easy to define.  It’s not egotistical.  It’s not boastful.  It’s being glad to have what you have, being thankful for who you are, how you look and what you bring to the table.

Self-loving people focus on allowing happiness into their lives and sharing it with others. They treat themselves well but not to the detriment of others.  The don’t mistreat people. And, this is difficult for me, people with self-love put themselves first even when it means having to put someone a close second.

How are we going to practice self-love today?

Remind yourself of this:

  • Who you are is more important than what you are or what you have.
  • You are valuable. Nothing you do, wear or say can change that.
  • What you want always matters. Always.

One of the great joys in life is when we begin to unfold into the exact person we were meant to be.   So, today (and every day) let’s follow the great mantra from the movie The Help

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

Have a fantastic start to your week!