The 4th of July always marks the birth of my amazing twins and the acknowledgment of the death of my mother. From this day to the date of her death, six weeks later in August, I often live quietly.  I keep my eyes open, I look for change and I spend time contemplating life.

Last year at this time, I found a list of things that are “givens” in life.  I can’t even recall where they came from.  I want to share my paraphrased version with you:

1. Your thoughts create your reality.  You feel the way you feel right now because of the thoughts you are thinking, and you are where you are right now because of the thoughts you have thought over and over again. If the thoughts are pure, positive and empowering, you will create positive and empowering beliefs about yourself and about life.

2. You will regret the chances you didn’t take. The things you didn’t do when you had the chance. That priceless relationship you neglected or allowed to walk away out of fear. Those important words you left unspoken.  It’s not too late to set things straight. You’re still here breathing. You can change your future.

3. Change is the only constant thing in life.  No matter how hard you try to avoid change, doing so is simply impossible. Period.

4. You judge others for the deficiencies you haven’t yet accepted in yourself. The traits you dislike in others are mostly just a reflection of the traits you dislike in yourself. This concept can be difficult to grasp, especially when you think you are right!

5. You have far less control over the behavior of others than you think. Isn’t it funny how the closer you are to a person the higher your expectations are and the more rights you think you have to control their time and behavior?

6. You are what’s on the inside. When you are happy and satisfied with yourself personally, no matter how negative people might act toward you at times, you stay calm, responding out of love and confidence to their behavior – for that is who you are on the inside and you give out that which is within.

7. You can’t force love in relationships. Love between two people comes because both people want to share their love, not because YOU want it from the other person. Your family, friends, co-workers, lovers – they all love you because they choose to. Love is meant to be felt, enjoyed and lived.

8. Sometimes the only healthy option is to move on. When the time comes to move beyond certain things, ideas, or people, don’t resist it.  Allow yourself to move beyond the past on your path to happiness.

9. Life as it is now doesn’t last forever. Nothing lasts forever, and this is exactly why you need to learn to detach from things, places and people in your life. When the time comes to say goodbye, let them go.

Have an amazing and safe holiday weekend. XO