(Jessica), You can’t always get what you want.

I’ve been wanting something lately.  And, as it turns out, it’s something I can’t (or shouldn’t) have right now.  That’s a tough one for me because I try not to “want” much and when I do, it’s usually something I also need.  But this “want” is a bit bigger and because it looks like it won’t happen, I’ve been thinking: Do I really need that which I want?

I was recently talking to a friend about our lives.  And, as we were talking, I realized we weren’t discussing things we needed in our lives – we were simply talking about our wants.  I think we all have a tendency to think like that.  And truthfully, often after we work hard to get something, and we eventually get it, we usually are not much happier.  Why?  Because most of the time what we want in life and in relationships is not what we need.  In other words, at the end of the day, just because we want it doesn’t mean it’s what we should have or that it will help us.

So, maybe I’m looking at this “want” of mine in the wrong way.  Rather than desiring the “thing” maybe I should be looking for the feeling that I would get from this “want.”  Know what I mean?

When we focus on the positive experiences we want out of life – not some item, new car, job, etc., we not only tend to produce those things we actually need, but it also makes it easier to produce the things we want too.   Think about this example: money.  When we focus on money it doesn’t make us more secure or free.  But focusing on producing security and freedom in our lives makes it easier to create financial success that goes along with our efforts to focus on the positive experiences.  Or weight – maybe we want to get to a particular weight.  But focusing on healthy eating or loving where we’re at, will likely produce better results.

The Rolling Stones had a chorus in their famous song:

You can’t always get what you want; But if you try sometimes, well you just might find  — you get what you need.

I’ve heard this song a million times (I likely did things in my young adulthood that I shouldn’t have to this song!).  But the words ring true.  We can’t always have what we want but maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll get what we need!  That’s going to be my new focus.

Have a great day.

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