I’m not sure what I’m feeling – but I’m alive.

I want to write about the brutality in the paper today.  My heart breaks a bit more every time I read about the horrors of the world and life.  The kids and I talk about it over breakfast.  And, because of it, I start my day a bit different from the day before.

But today I want to end the first year of theyearsafter50, with a post about hope. About love.  About power (the good kind).  Honestly, without all of you, I may not have the same hope or feelings of love or all the lessons I learned from you this last year:

  • There is a power of me.  I’m finally understanding that, even when my kids leave and maybe I’m still single (or maybe not) that I still just have me.  What’s inside me, what I’ve done and what I still can do.  We need to nurture the power of us.  It’s really all we’ve got and it’s all that will actually ever give us true regrets.
  • When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.  When I started this year of blogging a friend told me not to.  He said it didn’t have any financial value and took time away from what “should” have been important.  Friends, only we know what’s important and when you find it – do it and never let someone else convince you otherwise.
  • It is never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you.  I’ve watched someone allow his childhood to dictate his adult life.  It’s brutal.  You can start anything anew.  Never feel stuck.
  • Don’t save things for a special occasion. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy outfit. Today (like every day) is special.
  • Don’t wait for your “old” age to dance.  Be eccentric now.  It’s way more fun!
  • The most important sex organ is the brain. (Sorry, kids for using “that” word in the blog!)  Connect mentally and emotionally with the person you love.
  • In a year will this matter?  That’s how we should frame all our “disasters.”  Let go.
  • Forgive everyone everything.  I’ve had to do a lot of forgiving over the years.  It can be really difficult.  But, I can’t take my anger to the bank (or in the ground), so why hang on to it?
  • Growing old beats the alternative. I added a few more knee wrinkles this year.  I’m just going to be glad I can see, feel and experience them!
  • Get rid of anything that’s not useful, beautiful or joyful.  This year I’ve cleaned my closets literally and figuratively.  Who needed “friends” like that anyway!? 🙂

And with that, I close this first year.  Please let me thank you from the absolute bottom of my being.  You make me smile.  You give me love.  You allow me to expose my deep (sometimes very dark) feelings – and you still see me as ok.  I so totally appreciate it!




3 responses to “I’m not sure what I’m feeling – but I’m alive.

  1. Thank you for you beautiful uplifting post! Happy birthday and I love you!! Xoxo Renee

  2. Can’t wait to see you in a few weeks!

  3. Renee Barbara told me U are AMAZING. I agree I LOVED Ur blog today. You are full of hard earned wisdom. I would love to meet U someday. U can do ALL things with God who gives U strength Much Love Nd Happinessabd JOY in this next BD year. Celebrate Besytiful U. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VYour blog was a great gift

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