I know a few things for sure (seriously, only a few!). We need to breathe. We need food and water. We need love. And, we hurt the ones we love the most.
Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?
I’m not totally sure. But I know we are taught to be stingy with our love. And, even if we’re going to give it out, we’ve been taught to trust almost no one. We are fine with love until the one we love hurts us. Then, being humans, we usually think that the only way to feel better is to hurt the other person back. Sounds childlike, right? But we live our lives like that.
I was once in a relationship where if the person became upset with me (and who wouldn’t get upset with me?!), he would shut me out. Not respond to my attempts to reason or recalibrate. For him, it was better to hurt me when he was hurt, than to talk to me about it. Why? Because if he did talk about it, that would give me power over him. That would mean that I could affect him – and his ego wouldn’t allow that. Know what I mean?
I’ve been there too. And, I’ve lived with that feeling of anger where I act without thinking, which always results in me saying or doing something I’ll regret later.
This happens in every kind of relationship: whenever we love a person we give a lot of power to them and it frustrates us when we don’t feel the same importance reciprocated.
I’ve found two kinds of people in the world (as it relates to this issue): Those who can’t let go of their ego and apologize or try to reverse the situation and those can. Let’s remember friends, when we feed our ego, we are taking energy from our soul (or just energy from our being).
We all have insecurities, fears of rejection, loss and/or betrayal. This affects how we treat others. Fortunately we have the capacity to learn from our mistakes, accept when we’ve done wrong and forgive those who we know are just imperfect human beings.
I used to say that love can hurt. But I think I was wrong. It’s not love that hurts – its loneliness and fear of rejection that hurts. Really, love is the only thing that can actually cover up the pain of life and it feels good too!
Have an amazing weekend!