Married, Single, Divorced, Other – it’s all the same.

When I got to Boston on Friday (my daughter was rowing at the Head of the Charles), I was thinking of love.  I’m not sure why.  I just saw lots of people holding hands.  Hugging.  Seemingly enjoying being together.  I saw it in the airport.  I saw it while picking up my car.  And, I saw it on the race course.

It made me think about my own relationships and being single.  But this time, I didn’t question my own spot.  Instead, I realized how amazing life is that we often have the opportunity to experience lots of different things: Single, married, (for some of us) divorced, new love, and trying it all over again.

I started to think of some questions about my life, and then I realized that these are the same questions for everyone (men, women, single, married):

1. Being single (married) still means you need time to be by yourself.

Single people need to learn how to be alone and married people need to find alone time.  It’s time to reconnect with yourself.  It’s a time to accept who you are and who you want to be.

2. When you have time, appreciate the present – not the past.

Buddha said every day you are born again—that means new experiences and adventures for each day.

3. Change is good (and sometimes scary).

Often, by my stage in the game, being single means that there’s been some change in your life. Embrace it.  Being married means that your relationship will unquestionably change.  Be prepared.

4. Don’t be afraid of love and of being transparent.

Staying open to love isn’t just about attracting a new relationship; it’s about being open to life (which can include your marriage if you make the love and transparency a priority).

5. When you are alone (for whatever reason) it’s a call to focus on  yourself.

Sometimes relationships can make us lazy about developing ourselves.   Identify the person you really want to be—whether you’re in a relationship or not – and do it.

6.  To see a rainbow, one has to experience a storm.

When something bad happens, we tend to concentrate on the negatives, forgetting that there must be something positive hidden somewhere in the craziness. You will know happiness in the future—and in the present –  if you’re open to it.

7. Life is (relationships are) a balancing act.  

There is no one size fits all and we constantly change throughout our lives.  Allow and embrace those changes – regardless of the outcome.

I still have a lot to learn, understand, and explore. Sometimes I need to be reminded to be grateful for what I have – and the stage that I’m in.  As we all know, these words are easier said than done. So, here’s one important idea I want to leave you with today:

No matter what happens – you have yourself.  Take care of that person today (and every day).

Have an amazing start to your week!

 

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