She called me out on the inevitable, which I constantly try to avoid.

True Confessions: About six months ago I decided to try talking to a therapist.  Look, who doesn’t want an hour without a phone, sitting in a comfortable chair and having someone listen to your every word? 🙂  “What do you want to accomplish?”  she asked at our first session.  “To get unstuck,”  I said.  “Sounds simple enough,” she suggested.   Simple?  Yikes! I could hear the money coming directly out of my bank account.

What did I want to get unstuck from?  My thoughts.  You know what I’m talking about.  Those negative thoughts about creep in to our minds.  That suck the thankfulness out of our lives.  I wanted to destroy that 8 track tape I’ve been playing since the 80’s about never being good enough.  Yet, six months later they’re still playing, I’m still not drinking enough wine and I’ve spent some money.

On Monday, I decided to listen to the tapes.  Maybe I didn’t understand what song they were playing.  When I stopped to listen, I heard this: “Jessica, you’re afraid of change.  You tell yourself that the change will be horrible. But, change is inevitable, as is pain, happiness and love.  And, Jessica – change always works out.”  Great.  I’m in therapy and I’ve got voices talking to me.  Is that a diagnosable condition?

Yesterday (still dealing with my “voices”) I went to hear my daughter’s Senior Speech on, believe it or not, CHANGE.  Shit!

And, as though speaking directly to me, the one who gave birth to her, cleaned her runny nose and held her when she was sick, she said:

As the old saying goes, change is the only constant thing in life. We can count on the days changing, getting older, expanding our knowledge, and changing our opinions. All aspects of life are subject to change at any moment. This is scary to most people, including myself.

I’m here to tell you why this attitude towards change is a problem. [Michael Singer, author of “The Untethered Soul,” says] “Change is a source of fear—fear of added stress, fear of discomfort and fear of the unknown.”  The avoidance of the uncomfortable feelings associated with change limits our ability to grow as people. Singer believes that the avoidance [of change] causes you to lose track of your life’s purpose.

Well, so much for hiding behind my fears.  She just called it out right in front of 400+ people at 9 am!  I’m surprised no one turned around and pointed their finger at me.

Look, we all get stuck. We play those well-worn tapes over and over. We let our insecurities get in the way.  We fear being “us” will not be good enough. Yet, that fear of letting go, of being vulnerable, of just being … well frankly, my friends – it’s more stressful than letting the unknown just happen.

Let’s be totally honest: Change is really the only constant in lives (other than love, of course).  🙂   So, maybe it’s time to embrace it (or both)!

Have a fantastic day!

2 responses to “She called me out on the inevitable, which I constantly try to avoid.

  1. Gotta love the change baby-it’s what makes it ALL so interesting!
    Great blog-

  2. I’ve been waiting for a phone call! 🙂

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