My daughter went to the health club at a g-d awful 5:45 a.m. yesterday, and I decided to go with her. Instead of running I just walked on the treadmill and listened to music. But my mind chatter got to me and I started to ask myself some tough questions:
What drives you in your life? Since the past is not a predictor of the future, why are you always looking back? What do you want (and whom) in your life to keep driving it forward – to be fulfilled? What will make a difference in the quality of your life?
Shit. It’s now 6:30 a.m. This is too much chatter!!
So, I turn on a TED talk. I usually listen to the science ones (yes, Dad – I do like science), but I didn’t have my glasses on and picked some guy named Tony Robbins.
This guy has a huge ego (I can now spot those a mile away!) but he said a couple of things that resonated. First, I agree that emotion is the force of life. That, it’s not about achievement. We all know how to achieve. There’s a formula for that, a plan, get a good score, sell a lot, etc. But we want fulfillment and the question is, how do we find it? What does it look like and how will it feel?
Robbins is also correct that there’s an “art” to fulfillment. You’ve got to figure out how you want to contribute to the world. How do you want to put your emotion and love out there?
We all know people who have tons of money, love, and opportunities – but they’re still not fulfilled. Why? Because it’s not what you have it’s what you give. Amazingly simple, right? There’s no code or process or science to fulfillment. And, if you lack true emotion, you can’t be fulfilled. That’s why narcissists have such a difficult time. You can give them all the love and support you have but it’s never enough.
I had one of the toughest years of my life – both professionally and personally. And how did I get through it? I gave. I gave and gave and gave. I found that by giving my love and emotion (even when I was hurting) I could keep walking through the pain. I could get to the other side. It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t about me. It was about those I gave to.
So, as we wind it down here let’s remember that biography isn’t destiny. Even if yesterday was bad, we can give it our all again today. Don’t look back. Look forward. Give, love even when it feels uncertain. Don’t be afraid to get hurt – because you will. But when you do, it will allow you to experience more of life’s emotions and in turn you’ll have more to give away. That’s fulfillment.
Have an amazing day.