I’m totally not there yet.

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions. Goals are important (and I do have a few for this coming year) but I don’t want to live my life by goals. I want to live my life by wisdom. Know what I mean? I want to find more peace and understanding. I want to stop being triggered by things outside my control and which really have no importance (although at the moment of my red-hot anger or hurt feelings, the issue always seems of incredible importance in my life!).  I want more patience.

But the question is, how do I do that? How do I let go of my fears and worries and live a more peaceful existence?

Some people become wise very gently, just by paying attention. Some add meditation (or medication!) or study and some through trial and error. But most of us become wiser by experiencing all of the above.

One thing I’ve learned this year is that wisdom will inevitably come from vulnerability mixed with the inevitable pain of life. Roosevelt once wrote about effort, error and shortcoming. Essentially, he believed that without pain, without taking a chance, without the effort, without vulnerability and without some suffering – we can’t gain wisdom.  Isn’t that the truth?!

This notion can be uncomfortable at times. Even a little dangerous because we’re left entirely exposed. But as I look back on my life, there is nothing is as scary or hurtful as standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to live the life I want to live. One with my eyes wide open. One not afraid of taking a chance and getting hurt.  I need to be willing to crack remove my outside shell at times and let myself by seen – not only by me but by others.  Are you with me?

For me, wisdom also comes from acknowledging where I fall on the perfectionist continuum (pretty high, I must admit).  There’s no way wisdom comes from hiding my flaws, managing perception and pretending to be something I’m not. I have imperfections – thousands of them.  Aren’t we much better off using our imperfections to gain more wisdom and strength?  I think  hiding them only brings internal weakness and more fear.

This is a continuous process – this gaining wisdom thing.  And thankfully so.  I need all the time I can get!

Have an amazing day!

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