I long for the days when the questions from my kids were like:

  • “Why do we have to go to bed now, when it’s still light outside?”
  • “Why do we have to drink milk every day?”
  • “Why can’t I get that game for my (fill in the blank)?
  • “Why are other moms nicer than you?” – Wait!  Still get that one!

Now I get questions like this one about soul mates.  This question, however, resulted in a very interesting conversation and I thought I’d share where we ended up.

My ideas about soul mates have changed over time.  When I was younger, I didn’t believe in soul mates.  I just figured you met someone and if it worked, great.  But, as I’ve gotten old(er), I realize that there are people who come (and still will come) into my life that I know are there for a reason and with whom I will be amazingly connected.  People who I’ve likely known before and maybe will know again.  I think they are soul mates.

I also believe that some of my friends are soul mates – we are so in tune that I just know we’re together for a reason.  You know the kind of friends I’m talking about?

I told my kids that they’ll come in contact with many people throughout their lives.   Some they will be attracted to and only a few they will be so attracted to that they will want to become partners.  Why only a few?  Because I believe that when it comes to attraction, our unconscious leads us.  Love is not logical.  Love is of the soul and I think our soul knows who the “right” person is at that time.  (This is as close to religion as I’m going to get here.  We can chat about this over wine!).

Look, there are billions of people in the world and many of them could be perfectly suitable partners for us.  But one with whom you have that connection – well it takes not just that first meeting, but work, hard work and the dropping of egos.  Not everyone can do that.

And, sometimes finding your soul mate may not end the way you want – and you’re left with lessons, (sometimes painful) not a partnership. Then, (and here’s the super cool part) – you get to go out and find the next soul mate!

At the end of our talk I blurted out, “How the f*&% am I qualified to answer this question?”  Then, I paused and said, “Well, there’s one thing I know for sure:  Deep soul mate love can come at any time, in any place and at any age.  It can come more than once and more than twice.  Love is the most powerful, most amazing thing in the world.  When you have children,  you’ll really understand the connection of souls.”

So many questions and absolutely no answers.

And, with that – I hope you have an amazing start to your week!