This “sign” smacked me in the face (well, in the chest really)

My father mentioned to me that he wished he’d acknowledged his age (to himself) much sooner in life.  I don’t have that problem.  I can acknowledge my age.  In fact, recently my age has been acknowledging me – actually smacking me!

A few weeks back, my daughter mentioned to me that the people in her class at the health club were “middle-aged.”  When I questioned her about their ages, she said, “In their 40’s.”  WTF?  So, I set a new house rule:  No matter what age I am — that’s middle age.  So, when I’m 60, I’m middle-aged!  When I’m 75, I’m still middle-aged!  When I’m 94 — well, I won’t be able to hear what she’s saying so she can call me whatever she wants (as long as she makes sure my glasses are clean and on my face)!

This weekend, I went to lift weights with a friend at the club.  Building muscle has been a difficult feat for me, given my “age.”   So, I decided I was going to disprove that myth with my friend.  Unfortunately, when I laid down under the bar to do some bench presses, I couldn’t even lift the bar  – and it was without any weights on the ends!  Ok, message #2 wacked me in the chest!

Yesterday, I was at the liquor store buying a few “things” and when I got to the counter I saw the sign: We Card Everyone.  My excitement was crushed when the cashier gently said, “No ID is necessary, Ma’am.”  Clearly not everyone (read: not middle-aged women) is carded!

So, in an effort to feel younger, I’m thinking I should avoid the following:

  • Groaning when I bend down (or at least do it quietly)
  • Buying my clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style (hmm, I better check my closet!)
  • Needing an afternoon nap (and actually having the time to take one!)
  • Wearing my glasses around my neck (to avoid misplacement)
  • Misplacing my glasses or keys (only to find them in my hand)
  • Enjoying the TV show, Pawn Shop
  • Telling my kids I was born before the internet
  • Enjoying crossword puzzles (While I was doing one yesterday, my son said to me, “I’m going to do these when I retire.”  He’s now grounded!)
  • Drinking port (Although I did have my first martini last week!)
  • Speaking my mind, even when I shouldn’t (pawn that one off to aging “woman” issues)

I had wine with someone recently who reached over, touched my arm and commented, “Your skin’s as soft as a baby’s.”  Hmm, now if I could just focus everyone’s attention on my arm skin rather than my lack of muscle or increasing wrinkles, I’d be golden (no pun intended!).

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. Victor Hugo

Thank g-d for Victor Hugo!  Have a great day!

One response to “This “sign” smacked me in the face (well, in the chest really)

  1. Susan Levy Cohn

    LOVE IT!!! I could definitely add a few to the list. How often do you interchange (or forget) you kids’ names? I have more…! 🙂

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