I wish I could write a blog post that talks about how every day is completely amazing. Of course, it wouldn’t be totally truthful. While I can say that every day has something amazing in it (and that’s one of the beautiful things about life), some days really aren’t great. In fact, some days frankly feel very bad.
Usually we have those days because we’re hurt by someone we love or something we love. We feel angry, sad or confused and we dwell on the hurtful events or situations. We hold grudges filled with resentment and hostility. We allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings. Some people do this for their entire lives (I’ve learned that these people are too hard to be with long-term).
What do you do when you have those days? When you feel swallowed up by your feelings of bitterness or sense of injustice? That’s a tough one, right? We’re taught to ignore, compartmentalize and walk away. We’re told to say, “I’m ok” – even when it doesn’t feel ok.
But, strangely enough, that’s my mantra. Let me explain why:
During tough times, it can be hard to think about anything other than what’s causing us pain. We tend to live in our misery. It feels endlessly painful. We feel like s*** and not very ok. Yet, it’s these times that we see out how strong we are. And actually, we find out that we really are Ok.
I’ve learned that rather than trying to pretend the pain doesn’t exist, the only way to understand what’s happening – the only way to get past it – is to experience my feelings and acknowledge them. I have them. I can’t shove them in a corner. But what I can also do is say my mantra – “I’m ok.”
Why? Because I am. Because the truth is that no one – absolutely no one can do anything to me that would be so mean or hurtful or selfish that I would not be “ok.” I will always be OK.
My mantra isn’t there to convince me of something that’s not true. I can (and should) still feel the pain, sadness and anger. But, even with those feelings – and sometimes with tears – I know deep in my heart that I’m ok.
So, my wonderful friends, please remember that no matter what happens to you – no matter how bad something might feel to you now – or in the future – you will always be Ok. You may have to find a new normal. And, it may be awkward and very sad at first — But just know that you are (and will be) Ok.
No one can take that truth away from you.
Have a wonderful day! XO