I thought I’d won, but I missed the lesson.

As you may have noted, no posts from me for a few days.  We are on a vacation (much-needed) with some other families.  So, the other day, when the boys were with their friends, and my daughter hadn’t yet flown in, I had about an hour by myself.  I could feel I was in need of some “alone” time but I’m at a big resort and there are people all around.  So, like someone who is not thinking clearly or cleanly, I head to the pool!  (What the hell, Jessica?  It’s 80+ degrees and where am I thinking everyone is going to be???).

But, when I get there, no one is in the deep end of the pool.  Exactly where I want to be jogging all by myself.  I think I’m golden!  Yet, as if I’m a magnet, as soon as I get in about 1,000 kids jump in the pool with me.  They’re not just swimming.  They’re doing cannon balls all around me! WTF!  I could feel my blood pressure rising … this was the exact opposite of my goal.

I decide (as only a Type A person will do) that I’m going to stake my claim and win this game.  I’m going to stay in the pool until everyone leaves.  And, slowly but surely, I do start winning.  These kids get tired of splashing me, bombing me and throwing a football back and forth (which hits me in the head twice).  And, one by one, they start to leave.

Through out this internal contest, I see one kid who is there by himself.  He’s significantly overweight and always trying to connect with someone to play with.  As the kids kept getting out, he had less and less to connect with. I started to forget my goal and kept hoping that some kids would stay to hang with him.

Yet, this was not to be and when all was said and done, we were the only two in the pool.  I felt sad for him and guilty that I wanted some alone time and he didn’t want any alone time.

Life is funny that way.  Just when we think we want something other than what we have – we realize how grateful we should be for what’s in front of us.  Maybe my attempt for an hour alone was just really a good reminder to me that there’s no fun to being alone.  There’s nothing better than being with people we love and enjoy.  In a former relationship, I used to say that my favorite times were when we were all together with the craziness of kids, friends, food and wine.  Don’t you agree?

My hour was nice but I’ll for sure take crazy any day of the week.

Miss you all!  XOXO

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