Last night I had the most interesting conversation with someone who I know will be a long-term friend. We were discussing our past and I wondered out loud why I had one particular experience. Her response, “Maybe it was to realize that you are all you need.”
Can we be all we need? Of course we need others. But, first and foremost we must love ourselves, forgive ourselves and be good to ourselves.
1. Love yourself.
We all think we have things that are wrong with us. But if I can think of a million reasons to love you, you should too. Somehow we need to change the message: “I’m an incomplete person because …” to “I’m an incredible person because I can ….” And smile when we say it.
Here’s my challenge – I want to be amazed at who I am right now. I want to look at my wrinkles and see wisdom. I want to look at my wild hair and see fun. I want to look at my stick arms and see strength. We need to love ourselves – period.
I have a feeling that when we do, it will be easier for others to love us. And in turn, we can find more love and compassion for others.
2. Forgive yourself.
In order to love ourselves, to find that we are all we need, we have to forgive ourselves. Despite our differences, the human experience of pain and joy is similar. But the weight on our shoulders can be diminished if we forgive (ourselves and others) instead of harboring guilt or anger.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Remind yourself that others love your imperfections. Forgive yourself for not doing or living exactly the way you thought you would. But, remind yourself that you’re where you’re supposed to be.
3. Be good to yourself.
If you don’t take care of you, you can’t do for others. I learned this the hard way. For years I took care of someone else’s needs and forgot to love me. In the end, my feet were never on the ground, I wasn’t really there for anyone and I was stuck.
Do something today for you. Take a run or walk. Sit on your favorite chair and surf the net for something funny. Call your best friend. Ask someone for a hug. Stay up all night watching Modern Family (love that show!). Doing one thing for you every day will change those negative patterns.
I once read, “Pleasure and joy are highly underrated and beating ourselves up, highly overrated.” So true.
I used to sing this song (below) to someone else. But, I now realize that we need to sing this to ourselves first – and the rest will come. To my kids, remember to love yourselves … you’re amazing!
Have a wonderful day!