No one likes to admit their faults, especially when it comes to parenting. But I have to tell you that a good day for me is making only 5 mom mistakes by noon. And, I wish I could say that my biggest mom mistake is something like, “Oh, I just love them too much,” or “It was just what they needed.” Unfortunately, I’ve actually made a few pretty big mistakes along the way.
I made one last year that’s now come back to haunt me: When it was time to set class schedules for my guys, I pushed one to take a class I knew he didn’t want to take. In fact, he was pretty clear with me that it wasn’t a fit for him and not a great idea. I railroaded him thinking that the class would be perfect for his brain and how could I be wrong … I’m the mom — we’re never wrong … right???
Well, I was wrong. So wrong that I feel awful about it and he’s not happy. And after a lot of juggling, it’s “fixed” but he’s unhappy and taking the brunt of my mistake. This morning he said, “Well, you did push me into it.” He’s absolutely right.
Wouldn’t it be nice if this was my only mistake? Know what else I do? I raise my voice and say things my mom used to say to me. The same things I hated to hear. Will that happen to my poor kids? Will they yell and say stupid shit like I’m now doing when they’re a parent? I better put some money in the therapy jar … and quick!
And what about the mistake I make by repeating myself a million times? Don’t you think that sets them up to just not listen to me? Why do I ask, “Do you want milk,” seven times? Why not once and if there’s no answer I move on? Because I’m a mom? Because I have no idea what I’m doing half the time? Because my mind’s on 22 other things when I ask about the milk and sometimes I’m not even sure if I asked if he wanted milk in the first place? I’ve got issues.
Yup, I’m going to change my ways. I’m a mom and don’t you think we moms should be able to control our actions and words. I’m only going to push when it’s critical. I’m going to let them make their own mistakes (not the ones I’m now making for them!). I’m going to be calm and I’m only going say things once. Either you hear it the first time or you don’t hear it again.
Look out kids – here’s to a calmer, more put together, happier mom!
(I’m thinking this will last until noon today)
Have a great weekend!