We live in The Land of Fix-It. We can fix our sagging faces, our overweight bodies, our failing marriages, our unhappy jobs, relationships, situations, etc. All with a pill or surgery or a divorce lawyer. We can fix everything – right?
Wrong. Sometimes, you just can’t fix it. Sometimes there’s really nothing you can do. It’s the beauty and curse of life.
Yesterday I told a friend that life (or g-d or whatever you want to say here) gives us insane situations. Things that happen to us that are so painful it’s hard to breathe. Yet, there’s nothing we can do to fix the situation. It is what it is. The only saving grace we have is just that – grace – the grace within which we deal with the situation.
I have a friend who went through some very trying times. While he was going through s*** another friend was going through s*** of his own. Yet, the way in which these two men carried themselves were like night and day. One person was always positive, upbeat. He did express fear and sadness. But he also looked forward and didn’t blame one person for what was happening to him. The other blamed everyone around him. He was angry and lashed out – almost coming out sideways at times. The latter friend never seemed to recover. The former did and is on to a new life.
When bad things happen to us, we often want to understand the “why” so we can fix the problem. But instead of “why,” shouldn’t we be asking, “What’s the best way to cope with this challenge?” The why will come later – after we’ve experienced the experience.
Moreover, as awful as this sounds – there’s always some value in challenging/painful situations. When my mom died, I didn’t see the value. How could I? Yet, there was value. Her death at that moment in my life changed me, my relationships and my view of what’s important. Yes, it was painful. But I saw it as a payment toward the tuition for The School of Life.
I wish I could say that at some point bad things stop happening. That would be nice – but it won’t happen. How you cope with the challenges you face says a lot about your emotional maturity and your inner nature. Finding a way to upgrade from the present to the future is the goal. And having a positive perspective, staying focused on the experience rather than the fear of the change, will help the quality of this journey we call life.
Have a safe evening friends, and a wonderful day tomorrow!