It didn’t happen overnight.  I used to be smart.  Didn’t embarrass anyone by just being around.  Dressed appropriately.

But now, to my boys, I’m kind of embarrassing and sort of stupid.  I’m not sure how that happened.

Last week my son and I saw a cute kid in diapers running around and I commented that I can’t wait until I change his baby’s diapers (well, I can wait until it’s appropriate – but that’s another topic!).  His response, “Mom, by the time I have kids in diapers, you’ll be in diapers.”  (WTF!?)

I know I’m at least street smart and can find my way around town.  I can cook killer Italian meatballs.  I can distinguish a good wine.  What more do I need to know?

Well, when you have teenagers in the house, what you need to know is that they think you know Jack S*** (sorry to my friends with Jacks).

Let me tell you what I’ve been told lately:

  1. “Mom, How could you possibly know more than someone who has a four-year degree on the subject of _______?  You are a lawyer not a ____.  There is no way you are smarter than them.”  Friends, I wanted my response to be WTF (and maybe it was, I was so mad).  But instead I said – EXPERIENCE AND OLD AGE. Going to school for four years, drinking three of them away … yea, end of discussion.
  2. “Mom, I’m as good a driver as you – probably even better because I just took the driver’s training course.  You don’t even remember the rules of driving.”  I wanted my respond to be WTF (and I think it was).  But I also said – Do you want a car?  Do you want someone to pay for your insurance and your gas?  If so, then never, ever (until you have to quietly take my license away from me at 95) say you can drive better than me.
  3. “Mom, why do we have to pick up those wet clothes and towels or those bowls of food or candy wrappers we leave on the floor?  We always pick up at the end of the week.”  Oh, my love, let me list the reasons: Mice, Mold, Mother’s wrath, Mice,  Mold, Mom is fed up and needs a vacation.

This profound fall from grace in the eyes of my kids is a bit of a relief because I’m no longer expected to be right.  In fact, I’m expected to be wrong all the time, which means I can only go up from here!

Look, I don’t want to invalidate my kids and their efforts to grow and learn on their own.  But I need to have mental health boundaries and retain some level of self-respect.  Maybe someday (is tomorrow too much to ask for?) they’ll come to the conclusion that I’m not stupid.  Just old, tired and fed up with trying to challenge their opinions of my intelligence.  At least I’m smart enough to get a credit card. 🙂

Have a nice night!