I’m now eating my first bite of food in 48 hours. It’s not been pleasant here. But, in my continuing quest to see the good in the not-so-good, I’ve learned a few life lessons over these last two days:
- I literally spent 6 hours on the floor of our bathroom when it first started. In and out of consciousness, exhaustion and visiting what I wish had been a clean porcelain bowl. But, oh my friends who have suffered through chemotherapy, my heart breaks thinking about you. I want you to know how sorry I am that I didn’t fully understand it all. I knew that my flu would eventually go away. But you had to endure it every two weeks – for months. You knew it was coming and couldn’t stop it. I am going to pray every day that we find a better way to treat C or we get rid of it all together. I’m thankful to have a teeny tiny reminder of your experiences. I will be more compassionate than I ever have been before.
- My boys were late for school these last two days. Why? Because I do too much s*** around here. It’s not their fault. And, to their defense, they were helping me too. I love my mom role. But college is around the corner and this was a good wake up call for us all. Lesson learned.
- I need to keep my bathroom clean.
- I need to teach them how to clean the bathroom.
- I need to keep seven-up in the house at all times. (Thanks Dad for dropping it off for me.)
- I have beautiful trees in my backyard. I rarely sit on the couch and do nothing (well, I did keep working a little bit 🙂 )But, I didn’t turn on the TV – not once. Instead, when I wasn’t running to the bathroom, I looked out the window and felt the sun on my face. Warm and peaceful. I also listened to the last interview Maurice Sendak did with Terry Gross and I cried my eyes out. It reminded me that I am so lucky. So fortunate to be here. Sick or not. That my world — our world — is beautiful and complicated and loving and sad. And, that even though I felt like s***, I knew I could still look outside my window and see beauty and feel happy.
I hope you don’t catch the flu this season. But I guess I’m glad I did. It made me stop and reflect and gain a new perspective.
I also hope you have a chance to listen to this interview of the late Maurice Sendak. It’s five minutes. But, it’s the most beautiful and tear jerking reminder of the beauty of life – no matter what you believe. I can’t say this enough – In the end, it’s really all about our life relationships and love for one another. XOXO