My son said this to me in the car the other day. It resulted in my sobbing to the point where I wasn’t sure I could drive. He was talking about the “last” of something that occurred at school. He said that the hardest part about life is that he can’t stop time. It’s going so fast and he just wants it to stop for a moment … ahhh, out of the mouths of babes.
Last night was another “last” – their last HS soccer game. Soccer is a sport they’ve played since they were 5. That’s a lot of soccer socks, shin pads (and missing shin pads), shoes, and lost water bottles. But more than that, it’s the end of this sport that my boys played together. This morning as I was putting away soccer stuff that was strewn all around, I was reminded of my son’s comments in the car and my thoughts back to him:
- Be present: The only way you can really stop time is to be present. To feel the experience instead of moving to the next one. This kid is present. He rarely misses a feeling or experience. We joke that he will have his own reality TV show about hording – he hangs on to so much s***! But the reason he hangs on to things is that he enjoys the memories. He likes to re-experience a joyful moment in time. What a wonderful quality.
- Focus on family: I reminded him (cue – tears from me) that he will never have this time again with his brother. As much as they might wish to had their own space (and they will soon), they have spent a lifetime together – in the car, on teams, with friends. There is no one who has your back more than your family (however you define that). Appreciate it. Don’t push it away. That love is never going away.
- Nurture your friendships. I reminded him that as we grow older, it’s important to have friends to lean on, to cheer us up, and keep us keep going. While he will meet new people in college, I anticipate that he will remain friends with one or more of his high school buddies. Life is cool that way.
- Let go of grudges. I don’t think he has any but one of the things I mentioned, that causes us to lose track of time, is hanging on to grudges. You don’t have to forget what someone did to you but if you forgive, you have more time to appreciate life.
So, the dilemma of life is that we move too fast, miss a million things in a day and can’t stop time. I can’t solve that one. But, I can (and am going to) go for a run with friends to experience the beautiful fall weather — and maybe, just maybe, time will stop for a moment as I take it all in.
I hope you all experience today. XOXO