Is this the home stretch or the start line?

So, I’m here. Just weeks away from being an empty nester. Two are leaving at one time. Regardless, the effect is the same – it’s me and the dust bunnies left behind. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought over the summer. What’s next? Is this the end? Is it the beginning? Or is it something in between?

Last week I found myself crying in the shower. I’d be lying if I said I recalled the thought that brought me to tears. I was likely nothing more than: “I won’t have as much garbage anymore so maybe I should reduce my container size.” To my friends who are in this same spot — you know what I’m talking about! At that moment, I did what most self-respecting moms would do. I left the shower on, grabbed my towel and dripped water all the way to the kitchen where I said to my son, sobbing – “I’m going to miss you so much!” He looked up from his cereal bowl with a smile and said, “I’m going to miss you too, Mom. Get back in the shower.” Out of the mouths of babes. 🙂

If I were to dissect his statement (and why the freak not – what else am I going to be doing with my time??) – he was saying just what I’ve been thinking lately – Nothing changes. Yes, my kids will be living elsewhere. But we are still a family. We will still have crazy things happening. We will still have joys and sorrows. We will still have as much love as we have now. And, I still need a full shower every day.

I’ve gotten a lot of well-intentioned advice on this stage of my life. Having done this once before – I know I’ll survive. I survived the death of my mother when my boys were babies. I survived divorce. I survived raising three. But there is little question that this train is out of the station and there’s no stopping it. All my feelings won’t change the reality – we’re moving to a new normal.

One thing I know for sure is that the exhaustion (emotional and physical) leading up to this moment will result in some sense of relief on the other side – for all of us. Let’s be honest – we’re all a bit curious about what’s on that other side.

So, to my friends who are in the weeks leading up to this event … feel what you want to feel. There’s no right or wrong. My mom sobbed dropping me off and I sobbed dropping my daughter off. We’re all still (relatively) normal despite the tears.

Go ahead. Feel it all. I’ll be here for you when you need me (and you the same, I’m sure!). Look for me at all the new places I never had time to try before (and maybe shedding a few tears at the same time!)

To be continued …

XOXO

Jessica

One response to “Is this the home stretch or the start line?

  1. Dear Jessica – -I’m right there with you….. it’s crazy hard, and exciting and all mixed up with emotions, and I’ve been a puddle of tears, sometimes holding them in, and mostly not. So, Georgie says –“Mom – -are you crying again?” And I say — “Oh, just tears of happiness, Georgie” –totally lying….
    Let’s get a glass of wine at all the new places we get to go now. Will be thinking of you and our beautiful boys over the next few weeks as they are about to launch — love, Barbara

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