I’ve not heard this quote before. A man I met at a coffee shop today, (I am pretty sure this was not a pick-up line …) said this quote to me and I laughed, but also paused. (ok, it may have been pick up line, but my dog’s groomer texted me at that moment saying she was done and saving me from any further conversation with this person!)

But the quote stuck with me: Why is it that sometimes we don’t know our worth? Isn’t it the same all the time?

I was reminded of the movie The Joy Luck Club, where in one scene the mother tells her daughter a story about worth. The mother explains, “My mother not know her worth until too late; too late for her, but not for me. Now, we will see if not too late for you, hmm?” Hmm is right. How do we know our worth, and how do we know it before it’s too late?

I feel like I am learning so much about myself right now – even at my ripe young age! On good days, when life is just moving along, I don’t take much note of my inner voice. However, when I make a mistake, I can become my own worst enemy and harshest critic. Case in point: I recently had a couple of minor “mistakes” that happened one right after another. While these were uncharacteristic of me, I quickly began making unforgiving assessments of myself, doubting my effectiveness. While the mistakes passed, the questioning of myself remained. I was left with an emotional hangover.

It took me a bit to remember that the best cure for an emotional hangover is to let go. I am the same valuable human being whether I make a mistake or not or if I say the wrong thing or not.

We tend to be much harsher on ourselves than we would be on anyone else. This is when we need to stop beating ourselves up and give ourselves grace and permission to move on.

Remember, self worth is how you value yourself. It’s not based on what others think of you or the things you have (or haven’t) accomplished—it comes from within. I think it should start today.

Be kind to yourselves—you deserve it.